Laugh a little

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I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so. I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy.

There was this beautiful woman assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it.
She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, 'No, this is my first time.'

So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So she looked all around the store to see if it was empty. It was empty. 'Just a minute,' she said, and walked to the door, and locked it.

Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked
Her bra and laid it aside. 'Do these excite you?' She asked Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do
Was nod my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on.

As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay down on a desk. 'Well, come on', she said, 'We don't have much time.'

So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOW, I was done within a few minutes.

She looked at me with a bit of a frown. 'Did you put that condom on?' she asked.

I said, 'I sure did,' and held up my thumb to show her.

I don't know why she fainted

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A graduate student of mathematics who used to come to the university on foot every day arrives one day on a fancy new bicycle.
"Where did you get the bike from?" his friends want to know.
"It's a `thank you' present", he explains, "from that freshman girl I've been tutoring. But the story is kind of weird..."
"Tell us!"
"Well", he starts, "yesterday she called me on the phone and told me that she had passed her math final and that she wanted to drop by to thank me in person. As usual, she arrived at my place riding her bicycle. But when I had let her in, she suddenly took all her clothes off, lay down on my bed, smiled at me, and said: `You can get from me whatever you desire!'"
One of his friends remarks: "You made a really smart choice when you took the bicycle."
"Yeah", another friend adds, "just imagine how silly you would have looked in a girl's clothes - and they wouldn't have fit you anyway!"





And another:









A physicist, a mathematician and a computer scientist discuss what is better: a wife or a girlfriend.
The physicist: "A girlfriend. You still have freedom to experiment."
The mathematician: "A wife. You have security."
The computer scientist: "Both. When I'm not with my wife, she thinks I'm with my girlfriend. With my girlfriend it's vice versa. And I can be with my computer without anyone disturbing me..."

[shariqq]

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[shariqq]

I wouldn't mind wearing this shirt:

[ozzylogic]

That pic could've been used to promote Face/Off!

[theoddball]

Horatio Caine's Awesome Sunglasses One-Liners

Makes sense only if you've watched CSI: Miami or you're aware of the Internet meme.

David Caruso is a legend!

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