Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (Bay, 2009)

[ozzylogic]

According to the review, the whole movie has so many 'bots you either lose count or interest, or both. Dunno what the fuck is wrong with Michael Bay. And then there's the camera on that skanky co-star Megan Fox.

[ozzylogic]

Get's a 3/5. Only because the food they served before the movie was decent. And the fact that I got free popcorn and Pepsi. Terrible movie.

I didn't expect a story, but didn't expect a mishmash of characters and personalities and cheap, lame jokes. I was expecting so much from it, been waiting for this movie since the end credits of the first part.

I want to hit Michael Bay really fucking hard with a camera but I'll leave the elaboration to Fizz's upcoming review. Watch this space.

Good news...I got a Decepticon and Autobot mask.



And they had a sweet Camaro on display!

[ozzylogic]

A friend called, and he's like this hardcore Transformers fan, who's into collecting limited edition Transformers, etc...and the first thing he asked was "What the fuck did they do, how did they fuck it up?!"

In the end he said the only thing that could save the movie was the release of GIJoe, because it looks considerably worse!

[fizz]

Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen is an insufferable attempt at exercising all manner of excess. Most of what made the original film work exists here as well – including what can only be described as a gratuitous, semi-pornographic, cataract inducing usage of fiery explosions and chaotic robot crashes that lovingly explode on the screen. The film doesn’t lack anything except the good sense to realize when it’s gone overboard. This is not only an observation of the script (which meanders with semi-cooked ideas it can’t explain – like robots taking on human form), but also of performances, such as Shia LaBeouf’s Sam who hams his role and overacts his part as a savior of humanity and Earth.

This should come as no surprise. Director Michael Bay made Bad Boys watchable and its sequel torturous. Bay is the one-man powerhouse who defines what big summer blockbusters mean today – but also seems to incorporate in his sequels all the failing and trappings of where and how sequels go wrong if they indulge too much, encapsulating the law of diminishing returns. Transformers 2 is an over-indulgent film made by an over-eager director. The film attempts at being funny with its juvenile humour, but many of the jokes, which mostly involve sexual innuendo not just between humans, but dogs and also robots, are embarrassing. Similarly, the decision to focus more on humans this time doesn’t pay off. Sam’s parents are probably the most nauseating onscreen pair this year and the film substitutes character development with robot variety (comic relief is provided by twin cars and other freak gadgets). Would you believe the most well developed and engaging person is a decades old Blackbird plane?

Though not an admirer of it, I was briskly entertained by the first film – which took its time with characters that did not grate and made a comparatively more restrained point about the masculine fascination and dependency on machines. This return offering is a misunderstood misfire. Take Megan Fox’s Mikaela for example. Bay understands her appeal for drooling internet fan boys, so he gives us numerous gyrating shots of her, on a bike, running, sweating; projecting all the grace of an air head Playboy bunny. Then there is all the globe-trotting, from the US to China and then Egypt, none of it sufficient in capturing the originals sense of scope. The Michael Bay who made that film was possibly humbled by the string of failures he had been struck with, but success now seems to have brought out his inner wild child.

The setups here are actually a lot like those in Lord of the Rings without the requisite vision or viewing satisfaction. Optimus Prime is essentially Gandalf, Megatron is Saruman, The Fallen is Sauron, the All Spark fragment is the One Ring, Sam is an Aragorn/Frodo hybrid, Mikaela is either Galadriel or Arwen, depending on your point of view, and so on. Despite this, Revenge of the Fallen has a lot more in common (tonally and in terms of execution) to Howard the Duck. The entire film is also, rather unapologetically, possibly the biggest product placement/movie tie-in that troubled car maker GM could ever receive or hope for, with their signature Chevrolet brand being both prominent and integral to the films plot. There is little irony then in my noting that Transformers 2, devoid of any entertainment value or pleasure, feels quite bankrupt.

Rating: 2/5

[animatedude]

tsk...bad reviews everywhere,is it really that bad? didn't Spielberg say it's Micheal Bay's best? 

[ayaa1977]

That was a great review Fizz. You managed to reflect on the career of Michael Bay and in the same time provide us with an excellent assessment of the film. Well done

Michael Bay, the king of larger-than-life everything. The more and bigger, the better. Transformers had a great deal of charm, but from what I'm hearing now from you and the other reviews, this one is sporadic and more interested in dazzling you with much robots and explosion than to tell a good story. That is a shame. In Bad Boys II he did the same, to the demise of that film. That essentially Achilles' heel for Mr. Bay; he doesn't know where to stop. The Island a few years ago started very well and surprisingly for Bay he was restrained in the first half of the film. He gave us an interesting story, then in the last half his true identity appeared and ruined the film big time.

Anyway, It is a train wreck that I have to see myself, hopefully next week when I go to Bahrain. Insha Allah.   

[shariqq]

tsk...bad reviews everywhere,is it really that bad? didn't Spielberg say it's Micheal Bay's best? 

Ain't no matter what he say. Only matter what he do.

[ayaa1977]

Of course Spielberg would say that. It is a Dreamworks film. He would have nominated it for Best Picture Award if that would helps make him some extra cash.

[fizz]

Spielberg is executive producer...I would say that too even if my film was Glitter.

[shariqq]

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is not really a movie. It's daylight robbery. With the first movie being so loved all around and having earned enough money to run a country, all Micheal Bay had to do was push some wham-bam metal junkyard on screen and watch the money roll in. He seems to have succeeded spectacularly. To say that Transformers 2 is a bad movie is simplifying it.

Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) is now in college and looking forward to a normal life, while the Autobots and the US Army fight Decepticons around the world. When shards of the original Cube are located by the Decepticons, so starts a cross-continental battle of destruction between the good and the bad that pulls in the familiar heroes and villains that include the ressuructed and the Fallen.

Micheal Bay is a director with a limited range. Within that limitation he tends to excel, having made some of the best "explosion" summer-popcorn movies. But after all the money the first Transformers pulled in, he has been let run free. And what does he do with a $200M budget and no quality control by the studios? We get farting robots, humping dogs and even a mini-bot that humps the heroine's leg! There is not a scene in the movie that will make you think it was not written by a 14-year old.


I wrote the above two hours ago, and got so bored that I stopped.

My rating --> 1.5 of 5

[ayaa1977]

My God Shariqq, I haven't read a post this angry from you in a long time. so much for a night of hanging out at the movies with your friends, ha? Now I am definitely gonna watch it, if only to share your pain, lol.

[shariqq]

Random thoughts:

- I saw the movie on IMAX. Didn't make anything clearer. Just made too much TOO MUCH.
- Tuturo is grossly mismanaged. Want to know how bad the movie is? He wears an "S7" vest in the first movie, here he wears an "S7" thong.
- A robot that looks like a college girl? What?! I thought these were Transformers, not X-Men.
- Sam & Mikaela run from Petra (Jordan) to Giza (Egypt).
- Jon Voight and his South African analyst advisor are missing. Oh yes, governance changed from Bush to Obama.
- Yes, we do see the Devastator's "scrotum", as Turturo's character eloquently puts it.

I can't seem to get the bad taste of this movie out of my head. Will watch LOTR:FOTR over the weekend to cleanse myself.

[shariqq]

My God Shariqq, I haven't read a post this angry from you in a long time.

Oh no, I did not intend to come across as angry. It's just experssing how bad the movie is. I guess if I had completed the reivew, I would have polished the tone too.

[fizz]

That Egypt/Jordan crossing in seconds was priceless, its like they were twin cities. And robot shape shifters.

But that thong scene...oh God, I had nightmares. What a terrible miscalculation this film is.

[ozzylogic]

Loved your review Shreq, it's hilarious!